The Sweetest Sound

I LOVE me some baby laughs. I'll take giggles, guffaws, chortles, snickers, chuckles, and shrieks. I cannot get enough of the pure sincerity present in a little one's amusement! So naturally, I really enjoy getting Caleb to laugh is head off (not literally of course because that would be morbid and messy I'd imagine). Recently, we captured a giggle-fest on camera.

And just for good measure, here are some grins to go with that giggle.

Funny Photo

I find the expression on his face rather humorous myself. Here's hoping you enjoy it as well!

We Should Have Named him Trouble

Caleb is mischievous to say the least. He truly finds joy in doing things that we've told him again and again not to do. For example, when we actually had a coffee table in the living room (before we moved it because of him), regardless of how many times we told him not to and/or physically removed him, he got a huge kick out of climbing on top of it. Since he's aware that he's not allowed to do this but considered it some type of game, he would make his way up on top of the coffee table and give me this grin:

then he would proceed to do a little jig-like victory dance (the picture does not do it justice). We have since moved the coffee table to prevent his further enjoyment, um...I mean to prevent the possibility of harm.
His most recent stunt is to climb into his highchair all by himself. He makes the sign for "eat" and then up he goes. This of course makes me nervous but I figured I'd get one shot of him doing this little trick. Now I know to replace the tray after a meal so he can't get up there.

So, if this is any preview as to the wily ways that are Caleb, man are we in for it!

Looking Forward to Being a "Veteran"

I've had some pretty overwhelming periods of time this pregnancy wondering how in the world I'm going to handle a 17-and-a-half month old along with a newborn. But I had an epiphany recently. Now that I'm a "veteran" parent (ok, I might be giving myself too much credit there but I actually have parenting experience this time around as opposed to not having any when Caleb was born), I realize things should be at least a little easier on me when baby 2 decides to show up. I figure this time around I won't be agonizing over every little thing (i.e. "is he hungry or wet?," "should I nurse him now or later?," "I know people say not to hold him all the time, but that's all I want to do." and the list goes on). This time, I'm aware of what a newborn needs and I know I'm capable of sustaining a human life. After all, I've done it before. I also feel I'm immune to all the crazy albeit well-meaning advice out there. I know the way I wish to and do parent, and I have a level of confidence in providing that care that I may not have had the first time around. So, bring on the naysayers!

If you're sensing that this is a self pep-talk, you're right about that. I admit that I'm still struggling with thoughts of having to parent two babies at one time and I'm sure that things will not be "easy." But it's so relieving to realize that while I'm going to be in unknown territory on that front, I'll be in very well known (and very well remembered since it wasn't that long ago) territory when it comes to caring for a newborn. As the time draws nearer, I'm slowly letting go of doubts and learning to rely on my abilities, capabilities, and desire to be a good parent. I can do it! :)

Under-prepared or just More Aware?

Here I am at 35 weeks pregnant. I'm still in disbelief over that one. But, anyway I was thinking recently about the things Matt and I haven't done this time around that we had done by this time in my first pregnancy. Here's a list of things we do not have:

1. a name (Ok, I admit that this one is probably something we really need to work on.)

2. a crib

3. a "nursery"

4. any more than about 4 outfits (yes, I realize we're having another boy but opposite seasons so Caleb's cute little newborn shorts aren't going to work out so well for baby boy #2 in January)

At first I thought that maybe I'd been in such disbelief that I've avoided doing much to prepare. But then I realized that since I've done this once before, I'm really just more aware of the true necessities. Here's a list of those things, all of which we have covered:

1. at least one pair of warm arms for baby to snuggle in and stay warm

2. "milk makers" (I actually came equipped with two of these at birth. Score!)

3. shelter from the elements

4. support from friends and family

5. lots and lots of love

6. oh, and diapers (maybe not absolutely "necessary;" thoughts immediately go to the African baby in the "Babies" documentary, but I prefer to keep pee and poop contained

So, even though we may not be frequenting Babies 'R' Us this time around, I'm sure we have all the things we need to comfortably welcome our new little bundle of joy. I can't wait to meet him.

Projected Nesting

This nesting thing they speak of...it's not something I really encountered during my first pregnancy. Well, other than the fact that I refused to actually have the baby until the hallway was painted. Hence why I spent a good chunk of early labor wielding a roller and paint. But other than that, I never had that burst of energy I hear so much about where you decide to scrub the ceiling or whatever it is people do.

This time around things are a little different. I keep daydreaming about thoroughly cleaning out the fridge and getting down on all fours Cinderella style to make sure the wood floors are spic and span. The list continues but I won't bore you. So, loyal followers (all six of you), you're wondering what the problem is. Why don't I just go ahead and clean to my heart's content? The issue is that while I daydream about these things being done and in these daydreams I am the one actually executing said task, in reality I have no desire to actually do the work nor do I really have the energy. I'm diagnosing this as "projected nesting." I'd like someone else to come over here and satisfy my nesting urges. Um...any takers?? :)

TGFGD!

Thank God for Good Days!!

So, Monday morning after Caleb was up for a couple of hours, he did FINALLY go back to sleep-woohoo! When he woke up around eight and I entered his room, there he was bee-boppin' in his crib with a HUGE smile. I was hopeful that this was foreshadowing for the remainder of the day. It was! We had an amazing day. My little guy was so happy and playful. He was smiley and virtually tantrum-free. It was awesome. Here are the pictures to prove it.

Days like that make all the craziness worth it.

Even though I often feel like raising this child could very likely make me insane, I'm so thankful for him! He's such a joy and a blessing! If only I could channel that gooeyness at 3am...

Sidenote: Caleb saw the pediatrician again yesterday to make sure all his ailments are resolved. The doctor said everything looks "beautiful!". So, my little one is healthy which is wonderful but this also means I'm still playing "guess why Caleb is up several times a night, often for extended periods of time."

Why Ask Why?

I've heard that after a certain amount of sleep deprivation, one literally goes insane. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm approaching that threshold. Why is my 16-month old not sleeping through the night? And why when he awakens does he decide it's necessary to stay awake for at least two hours (we're working on hour three as I type)?! And why am I sitting on my couch right now watching a super-creepy claymation type children's movie about Jesus entitled The Miracle Worker?! Where is my miracle?? This child will eventually sleep, right? I'm hoping specifically for him to at least be sleeping through the night (which he is capable of, I promise it has happened before) by the time baby number two decides to make his debut (which by the way is happening in six weeks and technically could happen in three). Why does his inability to sleep or perhaps it's just a complete sleep aversion somehow make me feel like I must be doing something wrong? Why do I find myself hoping that when we go back to the doctor this week for the "all-clear" on the ear infection that I don't get it and they say "Wow, this kid has a lingering ear infection that must be keeping him up all night! Here's a magic bean that will solve this issue and have him sleeping like a baby (seriously, who came up with that saying anyway?!!?) in no time!"? Well, Caleb has decided that The Miracle Worker isn't doing it for him anymore so I'm off to rock him yet again. We'll see if I have any success this time around...

It's Hard out Here for a Mom!

It all started about six weeks ago. Caleb woke up with a runny nose, a clear (as opposed to the dreaded green), runny nose. Nothing to be concerned about. Then a week and a half to two weeks later, he developed a junky-sounding cough. I figured he had a cold and I decided to let it run its course. Both the runny nose and cough persisted. A week or so later, Caleb started waking up coughing at night.

While at the doctor's for Caleb's 15-month well visit, I ran the symptoms by the doc and he checked the little guy out. He assured me it was allergies and suggested Claritin. So, I followed doctor's orders and gave him Claritin. Caleb slept soundly that night. Phew! Just allergies. Until the Claritin seemed to become ineffective. Caleb started waking frequently at night and/or he would awaken for several hours at a time. He'd be clearly tired but completely unable to get comfortable. He'd cry and we couldn't do anything to console him. I kept thinking I should call the doctor, but my desire to avoid unnecessary antibiotics urged me to let Caleb's body work it out.

Last week, Caleb ran a low-grade fever for several days and ate in a day what he usually eats in one meal. He stopped being his smiley self and continued with the obviously uncomfortable night-wakings and coughing/choking spells. Matt and I became exhausted from being up at all hours of the night trying to comfort our sickling. I kept asking "what is the lesson God is trying to teach me?".

I decided Friday that I'd call the doctor for sure. Well, the doctor closes early on Fridays and he's not in on Saturdays so that brought us to today (after a weekend of night wakings and more inconsolability. Luckily though, Caleb started being more himself during the day over the weekend). I found myself headed to the pediatrician's office hoping that there was something diagnosable present because I refused to accept that this constant sleeplessness could be our new "normal."

Well, fish my wish. It turns out my little man has bronchitis, an ear infection, and wheezing (the doctor says Caleb's too young for an official asthma diagnosis). So, in my attempt to avoid over-medicating my toddler, I've now submitted to the doctor's orders and he's on an antibiotic, a steroid, and nebulizer treatments. Poor thing! So, perhaps that lesson from God I was wondering about was, "Hey Heather, take your kid to the doctor already!!!"

Talk about Mommy guilt...it's hard out here for a mom!

Haiku of a Crazy Woman

Toddler will not sleep

Mommy is going insane

Tell me I'll survive

But I remember when...

Brain Shrinks as Heart Swells

So, I know they say the brain shrinks some when a woman is pregnant. But it's supposed to return to normal size after having the child. I'd like to contest that point. I'm pretty sure that as my heart has swollen to accommodate all the love I have for Caleb, my brain has shrunk. I often forget words that I'm sure I knew at one point and I find myself confused as to what word to use in what context. Spelling, something I was once pretty confident about is now a problem here and there. The list goes on, but I won't bore you. Of course it's only gotten worse with this pregnancy. For instance, a friend of mine announced today that she'd be taking a nap later this afternoon to which I responded, "So is me." I immediately recognized my mistake and corrected myself. But the fact that those words in that order registered in my brain and got the go-ahead from my internal proofreader before coming out of my mouth frightens me. I suppose that by this time next year I'll be nothing but a blithering fool. But, I'll have a REALLY big heart to make up for it! :)

Here's the brain snatcher himself:

My Supermen!

It's hard for me to believe that Halloween already came and went. It's harder for me to believe that Caleb is now 15 months old! Anyway, onto the cute stuff. We dressed Caleb as Superman. Since he can't stand to keep a hat or hood on, all of those extra-adorable costumes they have out there were a no-go. So, we settled for a good ol' traditional superhero. We didn't take him trick-or-treating but we did attend a party where he got to show off his look.

Sidenote: I do feel taken advantage of though. Paying $20 for a costume that's made out of what feels like cheap felt is definitely a rip-off! But I paid nonetheless. Big Business-1; Consumer: -0!

Obligatory "flying" pose:

Super-happy, Superbaby pose:

Now, for a little word on my taller Superman. A couple of weekends ago I snapped a picture of a typical weekend activity-Matt and Caleb working in the yard. Caleb loves the fresh air and sunshine, Matt gets work done outside, and I get some time to do things in the house without a tiny person scampering under my feet. I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband! He's so good to me and such a good daddy to our little guy!

My Superdudes playing together at a nearby park:

I'm so fortunate to have these two wonderful guys to love on everyday and I look forward to having a third guy to love on in a couple of months.

When Exactly did this Happen?!

When did my newborn become a toddler?

When did he go from being this tiny, wiggling, uncoordinated, helpless little baby...

to this big(ger), aware, walking, willful, curious, personality-filled toddler??

Time goes by incredibly too fast. While I thoroughly enjoy all the excitement of new words, daily discoveries, and the art of perfecting two-legged mobility...I truly miss the days of constant nursing, multiple naps, newborn gurgles, and never-ending snuggles.

I know in a few months I will experience these things again. But knowing that I'll never again experience them with Caleb is bittersweet. If only life had a slow-motion option (and let's be honest, a fast-forward now and again wouldn't be such a bad thing either).

Cue Third Trimester

Ignore the rather odd facial expression and focus on the protruding belly! Here I am at 27 weeks pregnant, which happened to fall on 10/17-the same day I attended a friend's wedding (hence the dress, the blown-dry hair, the earrings, and *gasp* make-up: all extinct or at least extremely endangered things in my life as a stay-at-home mom).

How did the third trimester sneak up on me like this? I realize that there's some controversy as to when exactly the third trimester begins, some say 27, some say 28...we're going to go with 27. I digress. In 13 short weeks, give or take, I'll be working hard to bring a new member into our family. After a short, painless labor and delivery (wishful thinking never hurt anyone), I'll again enter the world of frequent diaper changes and no sleep as opposed to my current almost no sleep world.

I'll also enter the brand new world of being a mom of two! How did I land that position? Someone up there must be awfully trusting of me. I hope I don't disappoint.

Biggest Cheese Ever!

Freak Out!

Around 5:30 today, after I have gotten dinner started, nature calls. I leave the little one in the baby-proofed living room and run down to the basement to use the bathroom. I can hear the pitter-patter of his crawling and goings on from downstairs for the maybe 3 minutes or less that I'm down there. As I'm walking back up the stairs, I hear the front door open. I figure the hubby has just gotten in from work. As I make my way back into the living room, I see no husband, no baby, and notice that the front door is wide open. My heart starts pounding a mile a minute as I sprint to the door realizing that I must've mistakenly left the door open after getting the mail and that Caleb pushed the screen door open and is now outside alone on the porch (the potentially hazardous concrete porch, with the concrete stairs!). As I get to the door, I look outside to see Matt holding Caleb out on the front porch! Phew!!! I hadn't left the door open after all! My heart is racing and I breathlessly relay the story to Matt. The icing on the cake? Caleb turns as he hears my voice and giggles at me (the nerve of that child!).

Let me See you One, Two Step!

As promised, here is a video of the little guy walking. It's also a testament to his persistence since he falls a couple of times and then tries again. I especially like his victory head-bob in the middle of the video. Enjoy!

11-Step Program!

He did it! Caleb took eleven consecutive steps today! Yay!!!! Oh, the pride that swells within to see him do such a thing (and the relief-I was beginning to wonder if he'd ever walk more than 3 steps without us holding his hand). And he just did it again! And now 9 steps...woo-hoo!! If only I had a video to post...but I don't. I'll work on that.

Labor Day in NC

Caleb enjoyed using his great-grandmother's walker:

And the award for the palest family goes to:

Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

Answer: In my womb! :) It turns out we're having a second little man-cub! I'm excited for Caleb to have a brother. I'd include a picture of the ultrasound but I don't have the necessary scanner. So, imagine a gorgeous profile shot and a "boy parts" image.

Caleb's First Cut!

We decided the small one was looking a little shaggy and thankfully Daddy has clippers. So, here's our little man before his first haircut:

...during:

...and after:

I think he looks rather handsome myself.

Oh, We're Halfway There!

20 weeks down, 20 weeks (give or take) to go! Man, this pregnancy is going by fast!!!

All Worked Up!

At Caleb's 12-month visit, the doctor informed me that the state requires babies to get lead levels checked at this age. This requires a blood-draw. From that day on, I have been putting off getting this done, knowing that it would be horrible and that Caleb would wail and flail and that I may actually wind up doing one or both of those things myself.

After scouring the internet unsuccessfully for tips on how to keep myself and baby calm during the procedure, I continued to procrastinate. I finally chalked up the courage today to take him to the lab to get this done. As I was strapping Caleb into his carseat for the minute and a half drive to the lab, I gave him my best fake smile and brave voice, "we're going on an errand." I don't think he bought it but again as I was removing him from his seat to take him inside, I flashed a toothy grin hoping to delay his undeniably forthcoming agony (or maybe I was doing that for me).

So, we get into the office and there is no one in the waiting room but then I hear it...a screaming baby!! I feel my heart start to race and I swallow hard against the lump in my throat trying my best to hold back tears. I contemplate crossing Caleb's name off the list and leaving. Cue a staff member leaving for her lunch break (thank God for this woman). She says, in reference to Caleb, "He's sure hoping the two of you are here for Mommy and not him." To which I respond that we're here for him and that I may cry. Kind staff person then spends a couple of minutes reassuring me and sharing anecdotes about parents who typically react more strongly than the baby. "You'll be fine," she says as she's walking out (deep breath, wow-maybe I can do this after all, we will be fine). Cue second staff person, "Are you here for you or him?"- "Him."-"Oh no!" (and with her two words, there goes my confidence). Then, out walks a couple with their tear-stained baby who has since calmed down from the aforementioned screaming. I picture Caleb and me walking out several minutes later in a similar fashion.

I sign a few papers, sit down with Caleb, and take a deep breath knowing that in seconds he will be screaming and trying to writhe out of the restraining hold I have him in. The phlebotomist (who also happens to be the "second staff member") wraps that thick rubberband around Caleb's tiny arm and massages his itty bitty vein as I death grip his wrist so he doesn't pull away. As she approaches his arm with the needle, I cringe and Caleb watches as the needle comes toward his arm. And then...he continues to watch, without a peep or a whimper, as she draws his blood-one vial, then two vials and it's done. I'm shocked, elated, amazed, and SO relieved!!!!

Lesson learned: needles cause needless neuroticism.

5 Fruitful Years!

August 20th marked our 5th wedding anniversary! It's definitely hard to believe it's been so long. Time has gone by so quickly. I guess the saying is right, time does fly when you're having fun. "Fun" is exactly the word I would use to describe the past five years. Even with Matt's frequent job changes, what seemed, at the time, like my endless schooling, and unexpected financial setbacks along the way (i.e. Matt's car completely dying shortly after we had just purchased my new car, the realization that we'd literally be paying off my school loans until we're middle-aged, unforeseen plumbing issues, etc) we've been able to keep laughing and enjoying one another.

In fact, we've enjoyed each other so much, we brought a little one into the world. The past year of being parents has only brought Matt and I closer together. So close that we're now expecting number 2 in January! Hey, I told you we're having fun! :)

So, to celebrate our anniversary, we decided to go to out to eat and then catch a movie. We had lunch at a restaurant without Caleb. This was a big step since Caleb has never been left with anyone other than one of us until this point. My parents were happy to help and of course Caleb did just fine. We went to the movies later that evening, something we haven't done since I was pregnant with Caleb. Other than the outrageous popcorn prices and the frigid theater (wow, I sound like an old lady), we had a great time!

Here's to another 5 years of waking up next to the one I love and waiting in anticipation for him to return from work Monday through Friday. I love him more everyday even when I think it must be impossible to love one person any more than I already do. Happy Anniversary my love!!

Here Goes Nothing...

After much deliberation (aka me being way too chicken to put my business out there in cyberspace), I've decided to give this "Mommy blog" thing a try. So, lets start with proper introductions.

Here's me:

Here's the hubby:

Here's our man cub:

There ya have it. Heather, Matt, and 12-month-old Caleb.